Grace is a warrior.
Grace is a watchman.
It looks for weak
areas and stands as a guard, as a fortifier. In a city with walls of
iron it finds the disrepair, the broken down, the forgotten, and
stations itself there.
It cannot be moved.
The weather does not move it.
The seasons do not change it.
I spent some time today reminiscing about the journey and the process
God has brought me through, and marveling at the ways He prepared me for
these days. Like flipping back through a book after you've already read
so far, and getting the delight of seeing all the more clearly how
everything was being woven together to prepare for this. Ah, process!
The kindness of God. The goodness of God. In my early days with God
(early 20's) He was moving powerfully in my life, and I found myself
able to move mountains, but unable to open the mail and deal. with. it. I
developed the discipline of reading my Bible and spending time
intentionally seeking the Lord everyday, but I lacked other disciplines-
like cleanliness/organization. I cried out for and was granted wisdom
and was given treasure after treasure of insight and revelation, but I couldn't budget and was financially irresponsible. As I
thought about the irony and pondered how it is that we can be so full
in some areas and simultaneously so lacking in others, I thought of how
much grace God showed me. He was so, I don't know.... not unnerved by it
all. Not flustered. Not frustrated. Several times I was in tears, truly
overwhelmed, to the point of crying out to Him one day "this isn't even
good parenting! You have to let me feel the consequences! I knew better
and did it anyway...every parenting book, even the best Christian ones,
would tell you that you're enabling me! And yet I know you're perfect in
all your ways. You're a good father, and you chose grace, you chose to
protect me from the natural consequences". It blew my mind and wrecked
my everything. That is grace my friends. If it doesn't knock you on your
@$$, you're missing it. He knew the "why" behind the "what" because He
sees my days and searches my heart in the innermost places. He knew what
was in my toolbox and what wasn't. He knew when it would be the season
to mature me in a specific area, and He covered me until that time in
the way that you would hold a child with a disability to a different
standard than a child without one. Because he knows me. Grace has
wrecked me several times. It's flung the curtains open for the glory of
God to break through. It's caused me to cry, to laugh, to praise, and to
marvel. I think grace carries such an assumption of gentleness, but
today I saw grace in a new way. Grace is a warrior. Grace is a watchman.
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